Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Just Yesterday... Happy Birthday Big B.

Just yesterday I held you for the first time and couldn't believe how small you looked.

Just yesterday you were cruising along the furniture preparing to take your first steps.

Just yesterday you held your baby sister and told me what a pretty baby she was.

Just yesterday you started your first day of Kindergarten and made me let go of your hand before we got to the door of your class.

Just yesterday you loved watching Gargoyles with me in the morning before school.

Just yesterday you were in Junior High and seemed to grow a mustache overnight.

Just yesterday I watched you, as a High School Freshman, get ready for your first dance.

Just yesterday we started homeschooling and I started watching you blossom into the wonderful man I knew you could be.

And just today you are turning fifteen and reminding me that in three more years you will be able to strike out on your own. It sounds so wonderful for you yet I can't help but hide the tears when I think about it. The years have gone by so fast and everything really does feel like just yesterday. So many things I wish I could do over in your life because you deserve the best.

Thank you son for never hating me for my mistakes and thank you for continuing to love me even after you found out it was my genes that gave you cancer and changed your life. I hope that you will always love me and know that I tried. I always tried. Sometimes I made stupid choices but I always thought I was doing the right thing.

I'm sorry you got this disorder from me but I'm not sorry I had you even if I was just 16 at the time. You have changed my life so much and always for the better. Thank you for coming into my life. I love you.

Happy Birthday, Big B and yes I know this means you're old enough for your learner's permit but can we just pretend for a few days that you're not? Mama just wants to watch Gargoyles with you, read books together, and also read your journals I kept one more time so I can go back to just yesterday if only for today.

5 comments:

Meg L. said...

Oh wow, another end of April birthday. Please tell him Happy Birthday from all us.

Joy said...

Happy Birthday! Hope he has a great day!

Alice said...

Hi there,
I wandered into your blog from 3feistykids... Happy birthday to your 15y.o. My eldest was fifteen on 20th. April - not long ago I was talking seriously about something to him and he started grinning. Catching my look of disapproval, he said 'Sorry, but I've just realised I can see over your head!'
(Sigh.)
We may live on opposite sides of the world but some things are the same :-)
Alice

Jo said...

LOL, They all seem to love that "I'm taller than you" period once they hit it from what I've seen. Unfortunately for my son, I'm 6' tall so he's got a way to go before he's looking over this mama's head. :)

Happy belated to your son.

Steph said...

Happy Birthday B! That must be a humbling moment when your "little one" can see over your head. :-)