Saturday, July 28, 2007

Dammit Gordon!

Picture a woman lying in bed (no, she's not nekkid gutter mind!) finally sleeping soundly after tossing and turning all night thanks to freakin' leg pain. This woman is at last relaxed and comfortable as she turns over to snuggle with her youngest child enjoying the peace and quiet.

Then. Yes THEN this is what happens...


*snort* "Huh?" *lying back down*

beeeeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeepppp

"Uhhh what the?" *eyes open slightly and then close again*

beeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

*woman talking out loud to herself* "What the hell is that damn noise? Is that the answering machine?"


"Dammit what the bloody fuck is beeping?"

*woman hears the distinct sound of a potato chip bag rustling which tells her that Hubby Guy is home from work. This is immediately followed by...*

beeeeeeep "I mean" beeeeeeeep beeeeeeeeeep "man"

*woman peers comes down the stairs and peers into the living room to see.....*

Woman- "You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

Hubby Guy- "What? Oh hey, what's wrong?"

Woman- "I woke from a dead sleep because something kept constantly beeping!"

Hubby Guy- *looking at the TV then laughing hard* "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was that loud"

Woman- *to the Television* "Dammit Gordon, your fucking bleeped out cursing woke me up! Bloody potty mouthed bastard!"

The culprit of the beeping? The Hubby Guy was watching Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC and everytime Gordon cursed they would bleep it out with a very loud "beeeeeeeeeeep".

Dreaming about Gordon Ramsey is one thing. Being woken up because he's being bleeped out for saying "fuck" and "shit" 90 times is NOT the ticket to getting my motor purring! I love the guy and Hubby Guy and I watch pretty much every show he's in but girlfriend here doesn't get enough sleep as it is so even Gordon is not safe from my wrath.

Besides, if they wouldn't have bleeped him cussing out I would have slept right through the whole thing! It would have been as if Hubby Guy just came home and found out the cats had torn up the carpet again... normal day, normal foul language and no bloody damn beeps!! HAHA


David said...

So is kitchen nightmares any good? I saw that they are going to start playing it on Fox this fall. Is it worth watching-or will I be reading lips the whole time?!

Summer said...

Oh no! LOL *bleep* that *bleeping* *bleep* ;)

I hope you got a good rest after that at least.

Garry Conn said...

Oh man... thanks for the laugh! that was funny as hell. Gordon does have a temper, and I really do enjoy watching Hell's Kitchen. It is toally funny!

Jo said...

David- oh yeah, the British version especially is good. I like it better than Hell's Kitchen personally because it all seems real and tongue in cheek.

Summer- I slept THREE stinking hours last night. I read an entire book I have to review though so at least I got something done right? lol

Garry- I'm glad I could give you a chuckle. I laughed myself once I thought back on the whole thing and that's why I decided to post about it. lol.