Thursday, October 11, 2007

So Where's The Nekkie Men?

Naked Man Spam


And less emails about enlarging a penis that I don't even own! According to some great spam this week...

I have won the UK lottery. All I need to do is send my name, address, telephone number, and social security number to confirm my prize. GO ME!! Yeah, not a chance in hell there old chap.

Some girl is obviously distraught because her new boyfriend's little boy parts don't fit very well with her big girlie parts. Thanks. I'm no Dr. Ruth but maybe if this girl would quit getting a new boyfriend every other day (at least that's how often I get this email) maybe she wouldn't have that problem! One word girl... KEGELS!!! I'm jus sayin'. ;)

A very wealthy man in Namibia has left me his inheritance. All I have to do to claim it is send his executor my information and they will send me a check. Yeah, and I'm really a short brunette with big boobs too. *eyeroll* Shut up David and Andrew! :p

There is a new ointment that can enlarge my penis by at least TWO inches! TWO!! I don't know about you but I'm excited! Rub a little of that on and I will finally have my very own two inch long penis! Woohoo, then I can...well what the hell can you do with a two inch long penis? I might need a couple bottles of that ointment because if I'm growing a penis dammit I want a big one!

The secret to financial success is paying $16.95 for an ebook. Who'da thunk it? Anybody have $16.95 I can borrow? I want financial success and it's not like I won't pay you back. I mean, this ebook is going to make me RICH!!! I'll even make it an even $17 when I pay you back. *wink wink*

Say HA!HA!HA To Wrinkles. Well gee, I can say HAHAHA anyway because I don't HAVE any wrinkles! HA!

And last but not least, Emilio E. Moran (Emilio@bresnan.net) says he "went from being "mr little" too "mr big boy" within 6 months"! SIX MONTHS!!! WOW!! You grow boy! Could you do me a favor though? Next time you feel like bragging could you skip spamming me and just email someone who actually gives a shit? I'm happy for you, really I am. I just don't care is all.

Ahhhh the good ole days when the worst thing you got in your email was a nekkie picture from a friend who knew you'd either blush or shout "WOOHOO". You know what I'm talking about. You know you looked!

13 comments:

JaniceNW said...

Ahem. What's wrong with somewhat short brunettes with big boobs? Huh? I'm calling the civil rights peeps on you. I'm screaming DISCRIMINATION!!!!!!

So there. :P

Holly said...

I can definitely agree with you about the spam emails, especially since they always tend to send me penis enlargement emails.

Andrew said...

I'm with Janice. There's nothing wrong with brunettes with big boobs, doesn't matter if they're short or tall.

And I'd appreciate it if next time you write a long post about all the recent emails I've been sending you, that you ask me first, thank you very much. Humph.

Melinda Zook said...

Yes, I agree with the send more naked men photos please...so you're saying that email about the lottery was spam, damn!

Joeprah said...

LOL! Congrats on your 2 inch penis! I think maybe we are splitting that lottery price by the way. ;)

kellypea said...

You are hilarious! Funny, I did come across an article today about big girlie parts and how it can't always be the guy's fault. Brother. Doncha love the lotto ones? Stupid spambots.

tAnYeTTa said...

my point exactly. my sis in law sent me one of those--if you love jesus forward this to 100 of your friends if you don't bad luck, etc...

well, i asked her to remove my name and she said:

WTF<<<<'

yes the same person who said Jesus in one sentence put WTF in the next. LOL

love it.

Mama Zen said...

This is hysterical! However, you did not win the UK lottery, because I won the UK lottery!

Marsha said...

LOL, we must be on the same list somewhere.

Randy said...

"And less emails about enlarging a penis..."

I know, it's like the spammers have hidden cameras in my bathroom! How did they know how to hit me with such targeted emails! ........ er.... I mean.... Yeah, I get those too, and boy are they marketing to the wrong guy!

Oh well, at least I'll continue to with UK lotteries and have funds transferred to my accounts from African royalty, suckas!

Rayne said...

I feel your pain! I get these same damn emails, over and over and over.
When I was very young I sent away for a book advertised on the back of a comic. Sure fire way to riches. Our family was poor and I was sure I had the answer. I dove into my hidden piggy bank, found the 2.99 and the extra money for money order and stamp and orderd the magical book. Turned out to be a brocure with instructions on how to set up your own mail order company. I was less than impressed.

SaintAmyJane said...

i dont want to see naked men... I'd rather see them doing something... i'm a sucker for a baseball player... i like to use my imagination...

but I can't imagine a 2 inch penis... that just makes me wanna giggle x:)

Corey~living and loving said...

LOL yes....great post about spam email.