And less emails about enlarging a penis that I don't even own! According to some great spam this week...
I have won the UK lottery. All I need to do is send my name, address, telephone number, and social security number to confirm my prize. GO ME!! Yeah, not a chance in hell there old chap.
Some girl is obviously distraught because her new boyfriend's little boy parts don't fit very well with her big girlie parts. Thanks. I'm no Dr. Ruth but maybe if this girl would quit getting a new boyfriend every other day (at least that's how often I get this email) maybe she wouldn't have that problem! One word girl... KEGELS!!! I'm jus sayin'. ;)
A very wealthy man in Namibia has left me his inheritance. All I have to do to claim it is send his executor my information and they will send me a check. Yeah, and I'm really a short brunette with big boobs too. *eyeroll* Shut up David and Andrew! :p
There is a new ointment that can enlarge my penis by at least TWO inches! TWO!! I don't know about you but I'm excited! Rub a little of that on and I will finally have my very own two inch long penis! Woohoo, then I can...well what the hell can you do with a two inch long penis? I might need a couple bottles of that ointment because if I'm growing a penis dammit I want a big one!
The secret to financial success is paying $16.95 for an ebook. Who'da thunk it? Anybody have $16.95 I can borrow? I want financial success and it's not like I won't pay you back. I mean, this ebook is going to make me RICH!!! I'll even make it an even $17 when I pay you back. *wink wink*
Say HA!HA!HA To Wrinkles. Well gee, I can say HAHAHA anyway because I don't HAVE any wrinkles! HA!
And last but not least, Emilio E. Moran (Emilio@bresnan.net) says he "went from being "mr little" too "mr big boy" within 6 months"! SIX MONTHS!!! WOW!! You grow boy! Could you do me a favor though? Next time you feel like bragging could you skip spamming me and just email someone who actually gives a shit? I'm happy for you, really I am. I just don't care is all.
Ahhhh the good ole days when the worst thing you got in your email was a nekkie picture from a friend who knew you'd either blush or shout "WOOHOO". You know what I'm talking about. You know you looked!