Monday, September 08, 2008

Ugh, I Suck

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile and I know it's hard to want to read here when I never fucking post BUT I've felt like total ass for almost a month now. I can't even pinpoint it down to one certain thing either... I just feel like out and out ass.

Some good news is that I've finally found a good rheumatologist and she is truly awesome! The only downside is that she is the third rheum to confirm that I have fibromyalgia (when others are having a hard time getting ONE doc to diagnose them I've got three! HA) and she even called it, "Very bad fibromyalgia". *sigh* Dammit.

I'm behind on everything at this point. I have reviews that are past overdue, blog posts on my blogs that should go up sometime this century, and I even have fucking snail mail letters that I owe some good friends! The only thing I'm not behind on is laundry and that's just because my daughter gets all weird if she doesn't have clean clothes. *snicker*

Tomorrow I have an abdominal ultrasound to look for a reason why I get sick everytime I eat and any day now I should find out when my next cancer scans are so we can see if the rotten little bastards have gotten any bigger in my lungs and neck. Personally I could give a shit less because the answer is still the same whether they've grown or not. Blah.

My cancer marker is all over the place as well. One test it's higher and then the next test it's a little lower. Not even that can be normal. haha

While I'm sure this post comes across as depressed I'm actually feeling really sarcastic so if you read it as alot of sarcasm then you've got my mood. I gave up being depressed over this crap awhile ago and now I just get snotty about it. I figure you can either laugh, cry, or just stick your middle finger in the air and say "screw you". I'm more of a "screw you" kinda gal myself how about you?

18 comments:

doc said...

I gotcher sarcasm - I had to read the first paragraph three times to figure out you weren't writing "I need some ass"

Take it easy. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, including a blog, is more important than to keep treading water.

Not even laundry.

Steph said...

I'm more of a "laugh" kind of gal, I think, but the middle finger approach is good too. ;-) I'd probably be better off if I had more of a "screw you" attitude toward the world.

You're often in my thoughts, girl.

Meg_L said...

Girl,

You know I'll come by and read whatever and whenever you post. And I LOVE that attitude of yours. I wish I had some of it. You make me feel like milk toast.

Timelrie said...

ahh Jo I am sorry things are still shit but you have the same attitude towards life that I do which is

Life is a bitch but I am a bigger one.

love ya and hope to hear some happy news soon

selena said...

Good that you have found a good rheumatologist finally. All I need to say that feel relaxed and leave upto GOD.

Kari said...

Now that I finally have my own blog I'll be by here more often. I miss you girl.

Summer said...

You're always in my thoughts. Keep waving that middle finger, it suits you. ;)

Lisa said...

I think the "screw you/this" attitude will take you farther with cancer than wallowing in depression for sure. I know for myself I have a "kick ass" attitude. That's what helps me.

Killlashandra said...

Gee, you be sarcastic! I would never have thought that. ;)

Still no word on what all the little squiggly lines mean yet, eh. Good luck with figuring out the eating thing. I hope the ultrasound turns up something, but you know, your track records says they'll be nothing there just to further the confusion. LOL

Used Textbooks, dorris.adams55@gmail.com said...

You are the 'I Rock' kind of girl, i just loved the perfect amalgamation of humor and courage there. May you live long and healthy always. Just don't stop praying :).

Homemom3 said...

case ya haven't heard, my computer died and am using the library one. So swing by I have two contests going on and another about to begin today. Miss ya girl. Hope all is okay. Take care of yourself and don't worry about posting all the time.

Poli said...

It's better to be sarcastic than depressed, I totally agree with you on that, so keep up the spirit!;)

Nature's Sunshine Girl said...

I'm also feeling a little sucked for my doctor just prescribed some anti-gout medicine just because I have high uric acid. SY! And added maintenance drugs for hypertension and heart ailment--plus anti-diabetic tablets. All these fuss when I WAS just feeling a bit dizzy due to lack of sleep! SY again. Thanks for letting me rant here. :)

IB said...

Good luck with everything. Hope you are posting again soon.

IB

http://idiotsstew.blogspot.com

Peter said...

When I read the title of the post I had to read the rest. I wish you all the best luck in the world. No one should have to face that, but as you have no control over it you do.

I take my hat off to you writing about it as honestly as you do.

alperen said...

You are the 'I Rock' kind of girl, i just loved the perfect amalgamation of humor and courage there. May you live long and healthy always. Just don't stop praying

Randi Reese said...

Reading your blog makes me admire your attitude in dealing with such situation. I hope you hang on girl.

Take care and have a blessed New Year!

Jenny said...

I refuse to go and find out if I have Fibro... for it would give me one more thing to worry about. Hang in there, and I got yer sarcasm... I get angry too in order to get through all the BS.