Friday, July 10, 2009

Wow, An Award!!

When you don't blog constantly like you use to you come to expect certain things NOT happening like not having alot of readers anymore, fewer comments, less writing offers, and definitely fewer awards from other bloggers because well... you're not blogging about anything now are you? LOL


Well Melanie at Running Without Being Chased thought of me when it was time for her to pass on the Queen of Awe-Summm award which totally blew me away. Thank you very much, Melanie for completely making my day. I feel so cool again now. :)

The steps to becoming a Queen are...1. List Seven Things That Make You Awe-Summm!
2. Pass the award on to seven bloggers you read religiously.
3. Tag those seven bloggers.


Seven Things That Make Me Awe-summm-
oh boy this is going to be hard because I don't think of myself as awesome. Hmmmm.

1- I have awe-summm genes when it comes to my kids. They look like me, act like me, and even have my sarcastic sense of humor rather than their donor's (hubby not included) ugly, bland, ignorant ass stupidity. *snort* Yes, I'm taking credit for having the stronger genes in this case so shup!!

2- I have awe-summm friends who make me more awe-summm just by knowing them. I feel very lucky when it comes to my friends.

3- Despite a screwed up childhood I've turned out fairly normal which I think is pretty awe-summm.

4- I am an awe-summm left-handed person. We lefties are in a league of our own I tell ya (okay so we're weird shup!).

5- I'm able to always have a sense of humor no matter what life throws at me. Hell, I even joke about cancer leasing space in my body. I RULE!!! Just kidding, maybe this award is affecting my ego. Dammit!

6- Speaking of which, it is majorly fucking awe-summm that this October will mark FIVE years that I've been living with cancer. Statistics have had me at a 16% chance of making it this far since the beginning but I've always known that as long as this shit keeps it's hands off my bones, I'll be kicking for awhile yet. *smile*

7- I think it's pretty damn awe-summm that I actually made it through all seven of these! LMFAO.


Okay now it's time to pass the award on to some of my fave ladies...

Doc- Totally fucking awesome I tell you!

Meg- Awesome lady I had the privilege to get to know before she moved back to Indiana.

Robin- Awesome sarcastic knitting bitch whom I adore

Rayne- Even when I didn't post she still read my blog. So awesome!

Jessica- My awesome Mormon Puddin' Pop

Jami- She awesomely rocks my socks and her blog kicks ass!

Summer- She's wired for awesomeness!

So here's your award bitches. Don't say I never give ya anything. HAHA



Monday, July 06, 2009

Time To Start Living Again

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I have become somewhat of a hermit ever since my neck surgery in 2005. At first I hid away because I got tired of people staring at my neck all the time and just didn't want to have to face them. After that I pulled back even more from society because I was grumpy and in no mood to put up with people who were stupid or petty. Eventually pain was what kept me home more often than anything else and instead of fighting that I just let it.


It hasn't been fair to my kids because alot of the time they are trapped in this house with me. I'm not saying I cut us all off from the rest of the world or anything but since we moved outside of town we've not been going out and exploring as much. I hate that and miss our adventures. The kids still play outside, go to the park, take walks, etc but going into town hasn't been as often.

Now Big B is starting college and Sis is starting at the charter school which means that it will mostly just be MonkeyBoy and I from now on. I plan on filling the year with new adventures but I've also realized that I need to start making adventures for myself as well.

So on that thought I have signed up for a Tai Chi class on Tuesday evenings at the local Community Center ($2 a class how could I NOT?) and Bellydancing class at a studio on Wednesday evenings. I have to travel an hour and a half round trip for the Bellydancing class but I've decided that it's worth it and I deserve it. *smile* My rheumotologist has recommended Tai Chi before so that should be good for the fibro and maybe bellydancing will loosen some of the stiff muscles up a little so I can have more mobility.

Of course, I could just end up in even more pain too. I think it's worth a try and worst case I start but have to stop to keep pain at bay. I won't really be any worse off than I am now and hopefully I will be better off than now so it's worth it.

I chose Tai Chi because it has fluid movements that won't jerk my body around causing more pain plus I'm hoping it will help me with meditation and focus. I chose bellydancing because it looks like fun and if I'm going to be stuck in this body then I might as well learn to like it a little more right?

I hope that once I start shakin' my hips I'll be able to get the damn things to STOP cuz mama's fanny has more volume than it use to! Just kidding. Not about the volume but the stopping part. *snicker*

So wish me luck and I might post pics of Tai Chi but don't even ask about the other! Ha Ha.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Did You Have A Nice Fourth Of July?

I just wanted to do a quick post and say I hope everyone had a really nice day. Hopefully you had some fun, good food, and time with loved ones.

While I could do without most of the day personally, watching all the fireworks that my neighbors set off with the kids was really great. I must say that watching all the personal fireworks while sitting in my backyard went above and beyond anything we might have seen with the crowds in town.

For two hours people set off fireworks that lit up the sky and I honestly don't think there was a single break during that time. Very cool and enjoyable!

I would love to say we had a great bbq meal but alas we were stuck with the worst shrimp enchiladas I've ever had the misfortune of eating due to my husband's anal need to find a new recipe (the kids and I LIKE our regular recipe thank you very much). WHAT is wrong with grilling I ask you?

By unanimous decision the children and I are voting him out of all future participation in holidays. He only has himself to blame and hopefully he will learn his lesson. You don't mess with tradition. At the very least you don't cook nasty food and feed it to your family on a holiday. hahaha

Seriously though, enjoy your holiday weekend everyone and stay safe.Justify Full

Friday, July 03, 2009

School News For All Three

Well as of yesterday Big B is a student at UNM here in New Mexico. I can't believe my boy is a college student already. *sigh* At this point he is going to start towards his degree in Geothermal/Earth Resources Engineering but will have to actually finish that degree at another university since it's not offered here. There are several colleges in the States and overseas that offer the degree so he has some wonderful options. I'm really excited for him and it's nice to see him so excited about something as well.

Sis will be starting high school at a new charter school we have that not only covers basic academics but also focuses on the Arts. She'll be able to work at her own pace on a specialized program designed just for her. I absolutely LOVE that! Sis will also have the option of taking classes like Web Design, Digital Photography, Sculpture, Oil Painting, and so on. I can't wait to see what classes she chooses for herself.

The school is also new with only 125 students in grades 7th-9th so I think it's a good way for her to transition from homeschool to a more public form of schooling. I am just so much happier with this option than the public school one for the coming years. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a pub-school hater but I am definitely a New Mexico public education hater! haha.

MonkeyBoy will be my only homeschooler this year and I'm really excited for this year. MonkeyBoy LOVES to learn and soaks up everything like a sponge so it should be an awesome adventure. I can't even say what "grade" he is going into because he's spanned across three grades right now. I love that about homeschooling!

So all three kids are taking their own special paths this fall when it comes to learning and I'm really very happy for them. Even though I will only still be homeschooling MonkeyBoy I plan on posting updates on all three kids on Sona Creidhe so keep looking there to check on the heathens edjumakasion. LOL

Big B also recently got his latest 24 hour urine test results back and I posted about it on our medical blog- HERE. Feel free to read as it's pretty good news.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

If I Had My Life To Live Over

I'm feeling a little "deep" tonight and remembered this poem by Erma Bombeck. To me it is a reminder to stop and reevaluate life every so often. To slow down and remember what is truly important to me.

I have actually been trying to treat this poem as somewhat of a motto lately and live by it more. Especially since stressing myself out over total crap could literally kill me. There is so much in life that can't be controlled but at least how I view it can be.

I know this blog has gone totally down hill in the last six months but hopefully you can forgive me. I've been trying to be more present for my kids which doesn't allow alot of time for blogging. I miss it but I think I missed them more so I will try to blog but if I don't just know that it's because I'm loving my heathens.


If I Had My Life To Live Over

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous"...more "I'm sorrys"...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

Erma Bombeck

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Playing Catch Up

So much to catch up on and no clue where to start. Let's see, first I would like to brag that MonkeyBoy is in his first year of Tee-ball where he is having a blast! Watching these little kids run around the bases or trying to hit the ball is just so much fun. His first game is April 14th so I'm both excited and nervous for him.

Oh and you should see their little uniforms!!! TOO CUTE!! Their team is the Pirates making the uniform shirt black with yellow lettering, gray pants, black socks, their hats are black with a yellow "P" on it. He looks so cool when he has the whole thing on. *smile*

The downside to their uniforms is that there will be times they will be playing in almost 100 degree heat so wearing mostly black will not work in their favor during those times. Ugh.

Another fun thing to share is that my oldest is an assistant coach for MonkeyBoy's team so I get to watch both my boys in action at the same time. BigB has so much patience with the kids (and believe me there are some wild ones!) and I'm so proud of him. He takes his time teaching them to catch, throw, and bat without ever losing his cool. I'm so proud of the man he is becoming.

BigB will also be graduating from high school by the end of May then going on to start his college courses. At this point he is leaning towards a degree in metallurgical engineering but obviously he's free to change his mind many times before he has to decide for sure. I'm so sad to see my kids growing up already but so happy that they have turned out to be so smart and completely awesome. I'm very very lucky.

Speaking of BigB, his scumbag donor, Kirk A. Coiner, is now on welfare and personally I am disgusted with the state of Oregon. Here sits a perfectly healthy and able to work male on welfare, getting assistance with housing, food, utilities, and going to college for free (which is something his son doesn't get to do) all while he is not paying a single penny of the $350 a month he's suppose to pay. He now owes almost $30,000 in back child support yet Oregon does nothing. If someone from the Oregon Division of Child Support (Roseburg office) or their welfare department could enlighten me as to why they are allowing this I would be very grateful. I won't hold my breath though don't worry.


Sis is getting ready to start public High School in the fall thus ending her time homeschooling. On one hand I'm sad to see her go but I also think it will be good for her in alot of ways. While still at home though she is finally enjoying reading making her mama a very happy woman. LOL. So far she has torn through the Twilight Series, the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson, and a few horror books. I'm glad she is finally enjoying reading and seeing for herself how relaxing yet fun it can be.

Sis is also now in 4-H with my friend, Leah's, teens and really liking it so far. She has missed a few meetings but we're hoping she will be to able to enjoyparticipate in 4-H more soon. Once Sis starts school she plans on joining a few activities there which will probably keep BOTH of us busy and out of trouble. Again, I'm so proud of her and she is such an amazing young woman. I couldn't ask for a more fantastic daughter.

I haven't been up to much really. In November I finally had a hysterectomy which went really well. It was so nice finally having a surgery that went like it was suppose to. We found out after the surgery that I had adenomyosis and if you read that link then I'll say that I was one of the "hot coal" analogy people. Life was miserable and every single time I ate anything at all for over two years I would get sick. It sucked because on top of the pain each month I had to deal with not being able to eat out anywhere for fear of what came afterwards. I also had at least two doctors during that time basically say I was making it all up.

Thankfully though as soon as I had the hysterectomy the "hot coal" symptoms went away and I have enjoyed being normal (at least in that aspect) ever since. It has also been amazing to know that I don't have to worry about pregnancy anymore which was a huge fear of mine since I could pass MEN2a on to any child I have. Now I'm free from both fear and pain which has made me much happier.

On the cancer front I'm just going to bow out for now because it's just not even worth going over. I'm just tired of it all and don't want to play anymore. Sorry.

I am still homeschooling MonkeyBoy who is amazingly smart and tons of fun to teach. He learns from literally everything around him which in turn teaches me more as well. It's been really great having this time with him.

So that's it in a nutshell. Of course there are tons of things I could post about that have happened over the months but I'm sure they are far more interesting to me than they ever would be to anyone reading this blog and I'm still a little bit weird about posting too much about my kids. I'm always more than happy though to say that they are truly a treasure and the light in my life. Obviously they have their times and screw up just like we all do but in the end I have been so lucky to have the kids I do. I wouldn't ask for any other heathens even if I could.

Besides, when your children are basically carbon copies of you it's hard to drop the little cretons off somewhere and NOT have someone return them so I suppose I am just stuck with them. *wink*

Friday, February 27, 2009

The Coming Loss of A Wonderful Mama

Yes, I know I haven't written in many months and you have no clue how many times I have started a post only to delete it because my heart just wasn't in it. Blogging just honestly hasn't ranked very high on the priority list lately I guess and for that I apologize to those of you who read here.

Tonight though I read something that broke my heart and I knew that I couldn't just ignore it and not post.

Those of you who have followed my blog have read my posts having to do with Lisa from Clusterfook. The woman is amazing as she has been through cancer three times now. Her strength and outlook through it all taught me alot about how to handle living with cancer with grace and an immense amount of class.

Unfortunately I have just read that she is now in the final days of her battle and it breaks my heart. She was realistic from the beginning about her chances of making it through this time but I'll be honest and say I really hoped she would beat the odds and come out okay. She deserved a break this time, you know?

So my point of making my first post back blogging about Lisa is so that anyone who reads will add her and her family (she is leaving behind a husband and two young daughters) to your thoughts, prayers, loving vibes, or whatever you do as she is very deserving of them. From what I've read, she has fought as hard as she could and dealt with the pain long enough. Please hope she is finally able to be at peace as much as it breaks my heart to ask for her passing.

Lisa- I know you will never read this but thank you for sharing your life with us online and for the emails that helped me become better about living with my own cancer. Thank you for being so amazing, graceful, classy, and honest no matter what. I hope I can one day be even have the woman you are. You've set the bar very high sweetheart.

Go in peace, dear.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Our Darkest Day- My 9/11 Tribute

This is a poem I wrote seven years ago today as I watched the events of 9/11 unfold. I'm afraid it's a very raw poem and not very "professional" but it was my heart that day. My heart hurt for those who had so suddenly lost loved ones, hatred took root as I wondered what kind of monsters could be that sick and demented, and fear took hold as I worried if my children were now suddenly in danger.

"Our Darkest Day" was published a year later in the book "911: The Day America Cried". All proceeds benefit the Todd Beamer Foundation & I am proud to say I did not receive a single penny of any of it! :)

Our Darkest Day

Somewhere today a child cries
For a mother who’ll never come home
A wife waiting to hear from her mate
Sits shaking by the phone.

A sister thinks about words she said
And knows she can’t take back
A brother screams out ‘Why us God?!’
As dust settles from the attack

In streets usually alive with bustle
Now silence and sirens are all that’s heard
Families looking for signs of hope
Just waiting for a word.

In the shadows of a tragedy
A nation is mourning from sea to sea
Who could have done such an awful thing?
God, who can this demon be?

So many questions left unanswered
So much pain left to be felt
But as a nation we swear to our dead
That justice will be dealt.

For they may have struck a horrible blow
But they failed to remember one thing
That even on our Darkest Day
The bells of Liberty ring.

Jolene Coiner
9/11/01
© Jolene Coiner Burzycki